The Day after Father's Day

I think I am brave/crazy for moving out to the desert to write a book no one may ever read in print. Then I hear about people like Gary's son. Let's call Gary's son Adam.

Gary reminds me a bit of a very tan, heavier Stanley Tucci. He wears a fishing cap and dark round Armani-like sunglasses and black leather loafers. Most mean wear white tennis shoes. You understand. He's direct and quick and pays attention. Unlike many of the other people at the park his age - he's 71 - Gary converses. It's not that anyone is really unfriendly, they just love to talk.

Yesterday, Gary and I were sitting on the bench away the circle of regular dog-owners that congregate in the shade of a mesquite tree as the sun sets over the Patagonia Mountains. Gary and I have a few things in common. We went to the same college and we're both from small Midwestern towns. He usually asks me how the writing is going. This time he added, "You must be bored without people your own age." I admit that yes, I am bored a times. Gary kind of grunts when he talks, "I should introduce you to my son." This is something I anticipated happening. Nearly everyone in the dog park is 30 years my senior. They probably have a son... "He's too old for you though." Adam is 45. I'm 36! Gary looks at me, "You're 36? You're becoming an old maid aren'tcha?" So, I say, "And I'm proud of it." Gary didn't believe it. I said, "I could have been married but I would have been divorced now. And I kinda like holding onto my money." Gary understood, "Yeah, lawyers fees and all that." So, we came to an understanding.

I said to Gary, I would be happy to have someone just to hang out with. Where does he live? Adam lives in San Diego. And he's not looking for anything serious either, since he has an 18-year old daughter and a four-year old son. Meaning, he's finished with fathering children, if that's what I wanted. The thing about Adam is that he has one arm. He was hit by a bus that ran a red light while he was passing by on his motorcycle. His left arm is inoperable and just hangs there for now. That's how Gary put it. It just hangs there! No prostheses will serve him. All of his nerve endings were seared-off. His settlement was large enough that he doesn't need to work. He's stays active swimming, weight-lifting, riding his motorcycle, etc. So active in fact, that he has tendinitis in other arm. He sounds like a great guy I tell Gary. And I meant it. Wouldn't you know, he's a writer too! He has not published and is not writing, but he has a lot of ideas, Gary said.

A parent's faith in their children's ability, unproven, is amazing. Gary's you-should-meet-my-son pitch was almost as amazing to me. Most people wouldn't lead with their son's lack of an arm. And, I guess Gary wasn't really letting me know what Adam did not have as much as he was sure I would see how brave and strong his son is to him.

There was something about the way you said

Last night, my weariness was stretching my skin. I was at work until 8 p.m. So, I called almost everyone under the sun to get a drink but no one answered. I thought to myself, this is why people get married. I was only one block from work and had several more to go, my iPod was inoperable. So, I walked to the train "naked." When I don't have music pumped into my ears, I hum or sing to myself and I was singing a Ray LaMontagne song, Burn, mixing up chorus with verse and always coming back to the same place. I thought I really need to read through the Bruckner piece and the Mendelssohn too. I could possibly make yoga class or go for a run. I began making up all these tasks to do, to reassure, to comfort me.

I checked my phone one last time before I entered the subway and walked to my usual spot and read "The End of an Affair". Something big had just happened and it was such a good twist to the plot but, the train came after only a page was cleared. I stepped into the car and saw my Saturday yoga teacher. Mr. P. is one of those people that I have been intrigued by for a long time. I've seen him cry from being so moved by our practice. He's easy to laugh but he gets very excited when people stretch their limits. I also think he's pretty cute. I sat down next to him and said, "Hey." We struck up an conversation and that lead to dinner and more conversation. We laughed a lot and I was very at ease with him.

I do not believe in miracles from God but I cannot explain this encounter any other way. It was exactly the kind of human interaction I was craving. I could not think of anything that I had done or could have done to send out the message to Mr. P that I was coming his way. It was just coincidence?

One thing I want to remember. After I sat down and we told each other what we'd just been doing (he was taking a self-defense class. To which I asked, "Like kick-em in the balls and run?" To which he responded, Fighting Chaos.) earlier that evening, Mr. P seemed to step back from what was happening and rewind. He said, "What did you say to me? You said something like 'Hello there' or something?" I said, I think I said "Hey."
"Right! But you said it as you sat down next to me. You said, "Hey." And he looked at me like I just fallen over attempting to rise in crow pose.