I was catching up with a friend last night over Jameson and a cheeseburger and we got onto the subject of how people who give advice think they are trying to help, but really they are judging you or talking to themselves. We've all experienced the veiled message of "you're just not good enough" as "Yeah, I did that but I ... you should..." I've been the deliverer and the receiver of such conceit. It's not worth debating whether or not doling out judgment in spoonfuls of personal-wisdom-that-pats-them-on-the-back is good or bad. It happens. Why it happens seems more interesting to me.
Reading Eat, Pray, Love, I felt as though Ms. Gilbert was telling me to take the time to really work on yourself and you'll experience generosity, grace, and ultimately love, but YOU gotta be ready for it! So, she prepares herself by getting a divorce (not married - failure!), getting a book deal that pays for her fabulous trip (no one reads this blog, how can I get a book deal?), and then she spends hours meditating (I have a boney butt). The saying goes, "Good things come to those who wait", and not "Good things come to those who can chant for three hours every morning in a remote village in India."
I know, it's a book. I just wish someone else out there as put-off by E,P,L as my friend and I are put off by conceited advice. To Ms. Gilbert's credit, I finished the book thinking, damn that woman is smart! She exposed herself as a control freak, a needy, clingy woman, a chatterbox who needs constant attention. And she did it with humor, with candor, with clarity but more importantly - care. She likes herself and she writes herself on the page with sympathy. Maybe if I were more sympathetic towards myself I could read her book without throwing my hands up in the air in defeat when she contracts a urinary tract infection from too much awesome sex with her South American businessman in Bali.
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