The Day after Father's Day

I think I am brave/crazy for moving out to the desert to write a book no one may ever read in print. Then I hear about people like Gary's son. Let's call Gary's son Adam.

Gary reminds me a bit of a very tan, heavier Stanley Tucci. He wears a fishing cap and dark round Armani-like sunglasses and black leather loafers. Most mean wear white tennis shoes. You understand. He's direct and quick and pays attention. Unlike many of the other people at the park his age - he's 71 - Gary converses. It's not that anyone is really unfriendly, they just love to talk.

Yesterday, Gary and I were sitting on the bench away the circle of regular dog-owners that congregate in the shade of a mesquite tree as the sun sets over the Patagonia Mountains. Gary and I have a few things in common. We went to the same college and we're both from small Midwestern towns. He usually asks me how the writing is going. This time he added, "You must be bored without people your own age." I admit that yes, I am bored a times. Gary kind of grunts when he talks, "I should introduce you to my son." This is something I anticipated happening. Nearly everyone in the dog park is 30 years my senior. They probably have a son... "He's too old for you though." Adam is 45. I'm 36! Gary looks at me, "You're 36? You're becoming an old maid aren'tcha?" So, I say, "And I'm proud of it." Gary didn't believe it. I said, "I could have been married but I would have been divorced now. And I kinda like holding onto my money." Gary understood, "Yeah, lawyers fees and all that." So, we came to an understanding.

I said to Gary, I would be happy to have someone just to hang out with. Where does he live? Adam lives in San Diego. And he's not looking for anything serious either, since he has an 18-year old daughter and a four-year old son. Meaning, he's finished with fathering children, if that's what I wanted. The thing about Adam is that he has one arm. He was hit by a bus that ran a red light while he was passing by on his motorcycle. His left arm is inoperable and just hangs there for now. That's how Gary put it. It just hangs there! No prostheses will serve him. All of his nerve endings were seared-off. His settlement was large enough that he doesn't need to work. He's stays active swimming, weight-lifting, riding his motorcycle, etc. So active in fact, that he has tendinitis in other arm. He sounds like a great guy I tell Gary. And I meant it. Wouldn't you know, he's a writer too! He has not published and is not writing, but he has a lot of ideas, Gary said.

A parent's faith in their children's ability, unproven, is amazing. Gary's you-should-meet-my-son pitch was almost as amazing to me. Most people wouldn't lead with their son's lack of an arm. And, I guess Gary wasn't really letting me know what Adam did not have as much as he was sure I would see how brave and strong his son is to him.

My dream last night

I was a woman in pointy-toe black heels and a red suit. I was standing in the middle of a carpeted bus trying to grip the floor with my toes. It was dusk. I was in a strange city. Scanning the street for a sign I hoped would look familiar. A college student wearing a backpack was sitting in a seat in front of me. He was watching me try not to bump him every time we hit a pothole. My skirt was tight. I spied an empty seat. The bus was rattling like we were on a cobblestone road. Were we on a cobblestone road? What city am I in? What time is it? At least I knew who I was going to meet. His name is... I grabbed the top of another seat and threw myself in the general direction of the empty seat. The student said, You don't have to do that! But I do. I did. In my seat, I barely had room to cross my legs. My legs were a mile long. My pointy black heels were like boats. I just stare out the window. A woman in front of me is sharing a single seat with her best friend. They are sitting on a garment bag and matching overnight bag. They shift and tug the garment bag so that I am not touching it. Bitches! At least, I know where...

I am washing dishes in the dark because a circuit blew, Dad forgot to pay the bill, or the city was blacking out. The only person with light, full use of her laptop, and music in her room is my little sister. There was a feast that night. There is a huge pile of uneaten Caesar salad in the trash. I'm scooping pasta salad with black olives out of the clogged sink and tossing it into the trash where ever there are holes made by the leaves. I'm very concerned about using every last space in the trash. I do not want to lug the trash out continually while I'm washing dishes. I'm using two large sinks. Not industrial but large enough to bath a golden retriever puppy. There are forks, spoons, butter knives, steak knives, dessert spoons, and salad forks everywhere. I am very careful in the dark not to shatter a wine glass in the sink. The water stays warm and I keep on washing. There is no one drying. The half-assed dishes just pile up in a corner on the counter. My sister is in her room talking loudly on the phone. Her music is playing softly in the back ground. A former co-worker of mine appears in the darkness. She is laughing about how ridiculous all this is. Then she says, and tonight it's supposed to get up to 100 degrees. We're going to back in this house. Isn't this wild? I stop washing and march into my sister's room. I demand to use her phone. She ignores me for 10 seconds to finish up her stupid thought about something very high school. I notice from the glossy pages torn from a TEENBEAT magazine, that my sister is a teeniebopper. Do I still have a dog? I check the floor of her room. No dog. "Give me the phone!" I bark. My sister hands me her flat rectangular flip phone. It's very shiny. I dial a number. It rings. A voice at the other end of the line says, Sure come over now. We'll meet you there.

My sister and I leave the dishes and head to where the voice told us to go. We meet a group of contented and smiling people who all look like they could be related to one another. I know one of the women. She embraces me. I introduce my sister to her. We are carried away by their unity, their fidelity. They lead us down the street that just drops off into another part of town. The only way down is to step out onto a rounded end of a log, then another, then climb down some wooden scaffolding and jump the rest of the way. The dark-haired and suntanned group become quiet. The oldest man goes first. Then another and then another. I'm supposed to be watching but I can only think about how much falling will hurt. It's at least two stories to the ground. My friend says to me, Don't worry. Just watch me. By the time I turn to face it, she is already jumping down into her husband's arms. I heard him say, be careful of arms and legs. We have children and old people here. I look down and everyone is waiting for me. I have to do it. I step out onto the first log and discover there is another log end that I can easily step to. I see that I can hold the first log as leverage to jump to the next log and then I'm right next to the scaffolding. I find a place to grab, it's not very big but it's secure. I wrap my body around a support beam, I grip with my thighs and search for another place to hold onto. I find it. I have to let go of the beam with my left leg and place it the crux of two other support beams. I do it. My toes are in hold. I read with my left arm and grab a piece of wood. The rest of me goes with it. There is no where left to go but to jump down. Everyone is waiting. I have to jump! My friend is smiling and she squeezes my face. Everyone moves on together to her house. There is light coming from somewhere. We get to my friend's house and her husband explains that it will be a little crowded, we must be 10 people or more, but we'll all have a cool place to sleep. I tell him that I can sleep anywhere but my sister, she's a girlie-girl. He repeats that and chuckles. He likes the sound of it. I am dissatisfied. A woman with long wavy black hair is telling another woman who looks like a chubby preteen boy that she is in love with these two authors and both of their names are Ignacio.